Back.

I'm baaaaaccckkkk....  I can't believe how long it's been! 
The short-ish story:
   I traveled to Thailand for a solid month,  and other than some hiking and yoga it was all about mellowing out.  After a month of virtually no training, I was definitely back to my baseline.
I jumped in, determined to ramp back up, and promptly injured my shoulder.  Another. Month. Off. So sad.  2 months of no training, until I finally got back on track.
Training again was thrilling, I had forgotten the meditative quality of climbing.  Although I find the tissu beautiful, I started falling in love with rope. The simplicity of a single line in space interacting with this body, like a little haiku.
Even though I was happy to be back, something wasn't quite right. I initially started aerial as an experiment without expectations, no ego, no performance, just play. Coming back, I let myself get caught up in competing with my expectations to the point that it wasn't enjoyable.
After another break, lots of yoga, and some other parallel aerial experiments I've finally been flirting with the rope again.  It's like riding a bike, my body remembers so much more than my mind thought was possible.
Reading back, I realized I've mentioned Rodney Yee before, every time I take a class with him I'm so inspired.  In this recent workshop he talked a lot about how we grip, physically and mentally, around effort but that gripping just stops everything.  He proposed that supple spaciousness made more sense for the flow of it all. So on that note, the flame is ignited, I'm feeling spacious and I'm heading back up the rope...

lil' bit of yoga while hiking in the jungle

But really... mostly rested

other aerial experiments

.

   Building endurance, deciphering balance, learning to dance, and nursing my weird little double jointed thumb. While working on a transition between back balance (first below) and another balance, I went to grab the rope midair and my thumb flexed at the extra joint and pulled way back. ouch.

  Otherwise, leaning slowly toward smooth, familiar, movement.  Climbing and going from trick to trick is fine, but dancing between and even staying up in the air for 4-5 minutes at a time is still just a thought. I imagine it's possible, but effort eclipses ease and presence for now. In the meantime,  at around 20 ft. off the ground mid-class, I paused and realized I was holding everything with my own two hands. Upside down, hair uncoiling slowly, sweat soaking in, body swaying, hot still metal air, bird view.

  On the ease note, yoga has been especially sweet and good.  Starting to really enjoy the flow of movement, and breath with less unnecessary tension.  I keep laughing thinking of Rodney Yee on this point.. in class he asked us to move our leg..  we did.. he watched then said.. I asked you to move your leg, not your jaw. Direct action, simple.

Balance

Variations on handstands after class.
This one takes me a while to find, but once I'm there it's easier to balance in than handstand. 
Still figuring out how to breathe (see red face.. heh) and bring my chest up more.  Think my feet could actually touch my head, but I'm cautious about being bendy with my lower back and opening my chest is more of a challenge than I thought.
You can see...
upper back more bendy.. then lower back more bendy.. finally a bit more balanced.

Also enjoying hysterical laughter with everyone from attempts at other randomness. 
Working on adding an a different arm balance into a press into handstand at the end of this.. right now it's just a thought. 

Tissue play

   Walked in before class to see Rain (Rainanya.com) do a run-through of an aerial piece on chains.  Amazing, surreal, and definitely stirring in the back of my mind as something else to eventually try.
In the meantime, definitely going to yoga 5 - 7 hours/week. My shoulders are getting built and my body understanding is shifting to find out what the muscles need in order to relax.  I feel like I could just stay in downdog allll dayyyy longgg, feels so good.

Otherwise, we've had quite a few new ideas to play with, especially since we've been slowly gravitating to the tissue. New one below... " taaa-ddaaaaa".  I can see how having full middle splits would make this look amazing.

First time trying a new drop. Lots of hoo-ha figuring out where the tissue goes,  what to do,  and trying to relax my racing heart.  But so fun!!!!!!   

The performer

   We've been hammering away at endurance, line, and technique but never on performance. Finally dug in and blasted the music today for a mini rope/tissue improv.  How in the world do you move with grace when you're lifting your body over and over again, twisting, dropping, sweating, and flying.  On top of it, I'm usually on the production/visual end so performing feels completely awkward.
  So, I'm pondering performance and those I've had the pleasure of photographing over the years.   Dancers especially capture my heart; surrendered, ruthless, fierce, sweet, and in the moment.
I can easily end up with 8 gigs from a short shoot because I start dancing too.... following thier breath with the shutter, aching to click everything into permanence but also wanting to preserve the ephemeral. 

You inspire me. 
   
Circo Zero
photo: Luiza Silva

Dandelion Dancetheater
photo & set: Luiza Silva

Sideshow Physical Theatre
photo: Luiza Silva

balance play

   Class today was packed with a tribe of strong, amazing women; fascinating to see the diversity in who is drawn to circus. Somehow a few of us ended up with a bit of extra energy and went on to do a little flexibility and hand balance workout.  Several classes back, we started working on a balance that really captured my imagination. Ideally the body bends upward on one hand in a sort of diagonal, arched moon shape.  At this point I can balance for a moment before I fall out to avoid a face plant.

  
 Going.....

  















going.....

 

gone....  complete with laughing baby bird fetal position.

1 step forward, 2 steps back

After a long spell of fever, chills, and other sickie symptoms I'm back to training this past week.
It's amazing how much I lost in terms of endurance during the down time.  Today was especially difficult, but looking back over the past 5 days I see why.... I've trained and/or taken 8 hours total of class (9 by the end of today). *whew*  I'm at my goal of 10 climbs per class, but by the last climb my forearms are in knots.
We went back to the ankle hang today, and I managed to actually hang instead of just plopping on the mats. As you can tell, I'm still super tense, trying to brace against the discomfort of all my weight pulling around my ankle. The silly thing is, the rest of my body actually feels released and relaxed upside down, it's just the squeezing around my ankle that makes it seem otherwise.
Another tiny life lesson in this practice. We spend so much energy struggling to brace against discomfort rather than sinking in and just being present. Often the discomfort is nothing more than a single point, but with all the flailing &tension it seems like much more.  


Trying single ankle hang... eep.

pull over.. muuuch less painful.. I'll even smile.

learning to fly

   Winter is here, and it's unusually cold for the bay area.  So, we've all been showing up to the Center wrapped in sweaters, hats, and other furry layers. But, turns out you can work up a nice sweat with a few climbs or some handbalance.  It's so peaceful to turn my creaky cold body into a warm working machine.
  Now that the classes are full of regulars, it's fascinating to see practice carving arcs.
The progression is so visual, and clearly non-linear.  Getting an idea to settle (or unsettle) in a body is a strange process. On that note, with a sneaky trick from Jaron, I managed to mostly straddle up into a handstand an balance. Wheeee!!!!

 A good daily thought for yoga, aerial and life....

 Ashtanga yoga founder, Sri K. Pattabhi Jois:

“Do your practice and all is coming.”                                                                                                      

                                                       








flight.

 Wrapping.

Handbalance class,  working on the bench.

Hand balance class.  More on the bench.                                                                                                                                

meathook.

Tried a meathook for the first time. It looks deceptively easy but turned out to be one of the deepest ab workouts I've ever experienced; muscles I didn't even know were there are sore. 
We also went after my endurance goal; on top of the usual workout ..7 full climbs.
No grace in shaking and sweating all the way down, but a certain satisfying deep tug at the muscles down to the bone.

meathook

play

 15 seconds of fame: Hardcore CrossFit rockstar Max Lewin & crew came to play.  They had no problem at all climbing and getting right into the swing of things, trapeze and all. 

 Playing at Kinetic Arts in an attempt to get into headstand with no hands.  A bit arched, but a fun experiment.

Chinese pole

  The center is putting up Chinese poles, we got a chance to experiment after class this week and it was a blast.  Can't wait for the class to be officially up and running!!
   Otherwise, started learning a one leg hang of sorts... beautiful but also feels like my ankle is going to be sliced off by the rope, even halfway off the ground.
Tricks aside, climbing is really starting to click physically. It's still hard work, but my body understands it to the point that I'm not gripping, or struggling. 
The next step is definitely endurance.
3 month goal: 10 climbs per class (at 4-5 right now).

Climbing the pole:

Monkey mouth, seeing exactly how much core strength is in there!

Getting a hang of the.. er.. hang on the ground first. Yep, it hurts.

 

So. Dizzy.

So, after searching through inspiring aerial videos online my sister came up with a few involving spanish web.  Next time we showed up for class, Jaron had all the trappings for Spanish Web.  In the video we watched the woman was magically whirling, so it was funny to hop up and find out someone actually hangs out under the rope and spins it. huh. Cue Jaron laying on the mat and twirling the rope as laugh hysterically.

Actually getting up on the rope and was no problem (though apparently I'm in too much of a pike in the photo, but it was the only photo so there ya go.) but avoiding dizzy, not a chance. Bobble head and googly eyes are inevitable, at least at this point.

We're also finally both figuring the first drop on tissue without direct physicla assistance (video link).      The long pause is mostly talking to make sure we wrapped everything the right way, waiting, and finally dropping.  The music is just for fun, but if it weren't there you would hear a lot of coaching, me saying..  eeep!.. then everyone in the space cheering and echoing through.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aannBrCI32Y

Overall an interesting by-product of this whole training has been that the begginers mindset has a way of making way into everything else in life.         If you've read The Art of Possibility you might say... How fascinating! .. and it is.  

Body on rope.

  A funny moment yesterday when both my sister and I were up trying to twist into a wrap of sorts.    The ropes rotated and when we saw each other across the mat we both laughed and said ..  that looks so neat... do I  look like that?  Truly though, I still have very little idea what my body is doing between the rope and the upside down so photos end up being a fun check point.
   It's been bit like this exercise: arms straight out, backs of hands together, cross wrists so that now palms touch, interlace fingers, twist hands in all the way toward chest, elbows rest at your ribs, hands near your heart... now try to move individual fingers on certain hands, no touching fingers, just think it, then do it... hard isn't it?  Although my body understands the motions (whether criss-cross fingers or twisted rope),  I'm not familiar with this context so it simultaneously makes sense yet feels completely strange.  Fun to turn it all inside out to see what my body really knows.
    Overall an interesting life pondering though, are you actually good at XYZ or are you great at XYZ but only if ABCDEFGHI......  The athletes,  leaders and people that I deeply admire may have come into thier expertise via a certain environment, system of leadership, or set of ideas, but ultimately they are not dependent on those tools, they just are.

Spinning... and seeing eachother

Look Mom!!!  ( yep, I actually sent this to my mom...)

Class 3.

Just finished my third full length aerial class at Kinetic Arts Center today. 
Although I was initially attracted to the tissue, I've been almost entirely on the rope. While it isn't as "pretty" and it hurts more, it has a certain matter of fact elegance, and simplicity.
    My first class was climbing/splits and second class was climbing, a wrap, splits
(as shown below: 1, My sister and co-owner/Artistic Director Jaron Hollander, and then me.)
After going through the first 2 classes,  I made 2 goals and an agreement;

• I train at least 16 days out of this month
• I train to get splits and a handstand by next September.
• I train to my full capacity, 100%, every time.   

Fast forward to today, third class was definitely per our agreement; 100%, no whining, just climbing until my hands couldn't hold on anymore.  Although my body is strong from all the yoga, this is a whole other world. I love that my muscles feel unfamiliar, the tops of my feet are skinned,  and my body forgets grace.

 

 

The beginning.

    A bit about me before we go off on this adventure. I am a yogi and athlete, and I own a business which provides integrated visual services/branding. But, on yoga... started yoga many years ago while touring as an installation designer and photographer for a modern dance company. All the dancers went to yoga one morning and took me along.  The most thrilling part of class was that I knew absolutely nothing. 

     Fast forward to now, I still practice yoga and one of my favorite little bits is that it's a practice, not a super amazing advanced final performance of perfection.  It seems that as adults we expect ourselves to be experts at everything right away,  even if it means closing off possibilities.  So adults get good at playing expert, but I love how the body won't let you fake it; if you can't lift the weight, climb the rock, balance on the bench then you can't.  Physical activity is my meditation in being present, an exact moment in sweat, muscle, breath, and skin.. no faking allowed.

So, it's time to begin again. Dream at Play is a surrender to knowing nothing, being a beginner, turning it upside down and laughing all the way home. 
The first 60 days start at Kinetic Arts Center; aerial rope and hand balancing. here we go.